On weekends, I do not always do anything. I try to fit something in, mainly because if I do not I end up feeling a bit anxious. This morning, we did not have any real plans, so I biked for half an hour. I feel less guilty doing this: it takes less time than running out to the Y. But I also don't always like doing it: I can hear what is going on upstairs and if there is any arguing (which there will be), I feel guilty about not attending to it. I should not feel guilty: Jason is more than able to handle everything. But nonetheless, I feel guilty for doing something for 'me' and leaving Jason to deal with the chaos.
I tell myself that it is only half an hour and it is important to have some 'me' time. I try to pay him back: after I got back from getting my hair cut, I spent some quality time with Zev and Jason was able to take a bit of a nap. Later we all went to the Inside Playground and managed some total family time. That was nice.
Still, I feel as if there are not enough hours in the day. Which I suppose is normal for any full-time working mother of three young children. I constantly feel as if I am 'catching up'.
Tomorrow we are going to a BBQ. I should take a full rest day and I will try.
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